InsaneJournal

NaNo FanFic Part 12
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Pairings this part: Remus/Severus
Rating: PG-13
Notes: St. Drogo is the patron of coffee-house keepers.  (Really!)  I took a page from JKR's book and changed the saint on a village that already existed, several actually, all St Someone's-super-Ely, which logically enough are upriver from the town of Ely in southern Wales near Cardiff. 

early January 1999, St. Drogo's-super-Ely

Luna liked to feel useful, she was good with children, and she wanted to avoid the churning emotional cauldron that was Grimmauld Place with half the Weasleys in residence.  That was how, New Year's Day when her father had been isolated in St. Mungo's after their house was demolished in one of several simultaneous attacks on the Order and their sympathizers, Luna ended up carrying Teddy Lupin through the Floo to Wales and staying in Remus's spare room until the end of Christmas hols. 

Andromeda Tonks was just down the hall from Xenophilius, having suffered milder injuries in the attack on her house.  Snape had escaped hospitalization, although his house renovations would have to be begun again. Several other homes or offices had been partially destroyed, but only Andromeda and Xenophilius required care at St. Mungo's.   Remus had come to visit his mother-in-law on New Year's Day, but he could not stay long.  That very night was the full moon, and with Andromeda unconscious he had no one to watch his son while he was transformed.  Luna was happy to be able to do something concrete and helpful for a friend to take her mind off her worry for her father.

She wasn't quite used to addressing her former professor by his given name, but he never seemed to mind if she slipped and called him, "Professor."  Others weren't quite so sanguine, as she found out when she thoughtlessly called Snape "Headmaster" as he came through the Floo at teatime with a flask of Wolfsbane potion in his hand. 

"Miss Lovegood."  He was obviously surprised to see her there, but that did not lessen his ire, or the power of his glare.  "That title is no longer mine.  Kindly see to it that you never use it again."         

The difficulty was that Luna knew too much about Snape and all that he had suffered to feel the same level of intimidation she had while he was actually Headmaster.  And she knew that he had shown too much mercy while in charge of Hogwarts to truly be the cruel and heartless man the press presented.  "No, sir.  Sorry, sir."  She hugged Teddy closer against her chest and tilted her head.  "Remus is upstairs, sir."

Snape regarded her with something like curiosity for a moment, and she returned his gaze with a stare of her own.  Then the man nodded once and limped toward the stairs.  The Healers were surprised he was walking at all; the limp would likely never go away.  Some complication of the snake Nagini's venom in a nervous system damaged by years of Cruciatus had caused seizures that left Snape partially paralyzed.  St. Mungo's had written him off as permanently crippled, but he had walked out of St. Mungo's under his own power, probably just to spite his caseworkers.  His grip on the banister was white-knuckled, but he never faltered on his way. 

Teddy started fussing before long; his teething ring was upstairs in the nursery.  Luna could have Accioed it, she thought later, but instead she went up and into the sunlight-filled room that Tonks had decorated with colorful animals dancing on the wallpaper and a hanging mobile of glittering stars.  Teddy's hair went blue the minute Luna set him in his big wooden crib, and he stuffed a rattle in his mouth.  "No, sweetheart, now, here, this will be better."  She replaced the rattle with the teething ring in one smooth motion, and Teddy made cheerful "mamama" noises as he methodically covered the ring in drool.   

Luna had not realized how thin the walls were in the house.  As she was leaning on the rail of the crib watching Teddy roll around chewing the ring and trying to grab his toes with his free hand, a voice suddenly came through the wall as clearly as if the speaker had been standing next to her. 

"Do you still want us to move?"  That was Remus, his voice edged with the tension he had warned Luna to expect the day of the moon. 

"I do," Snape sounded surprised to be asked.  "I thought perhaps...  you would change your mind, now. Your safety-" 

"Is no better here than there." Remus interrupted, and there was a sound Luna had trouble identifying, a soft rustling followed by a thump.  "We were just lucky not to get hit this time."

"Nevertheless-"

"No, Severus.  Please.  This is no time to argue about it.  We'll put it off, is all.  Until you've finished repairs."  Another thump, followed by a long silence. 

Teddy had lengthened his toes and fingers and now had them tangled together.  He began to wail his distress, and Luna hurried to sooth and quiet him.  She carefully separated all the tiny little digits and tickled Teddy's belly until he convulsed with giggles instead of cries, and soon enough his extremities reverted. 

"I forget that he's not with Andromeda.  Come back, Severus, I've told Luna what to expect.  She's survived worse than one night with a werewolf on Wolfsbane."  Luna smiled as she bent her head to blow raspberries on Teddy's palms.  Remus trusted her, he did not look at her like she was broken, and he did not pity her.  In some ways being asked to watch his son was the greatest compliment he could offer.

"Even with the Wolfsbane, a werewolf is no easy thing to face in a narrow hallway."  Some old pain roughened Snape's voice. 

Remus's voice went quiet, but Luna didn't need to strain to hear it, even with Teddy burbling in the crib.  "I know.  Come here.  You can bring them in later, if you judge it safe."  Luna had a difficult moment identifying the next sound, and flushed when she realized that the two men must be kissing. 

"Come here, my little doll," she said to Teddy, "let's go see if you've any mush left in the kitchen."  She slid several other charmed toys into the pockets of her trousers and hoisted Teddy out of the crib.  "We'll see how quiet and happy we can be tonight, while Daddy isn't feeling well, won't we?"  As she combed her fingers through the baby's hair it changed from blue to pink. 

Ten minutes later, Remus appeared in the kitchen, followed by Snape.  Luna knew she must be blushing, but she continued feeding Teddy as if nothing was amiss.  Thankfully neither man mentioned it, if they noticed. 

"I set the kettle on again.  It had gone cold," Luna said, nodding toward the stove as she scraped pureed apple off Teddy's chin with a tiny spoon. 

"Thank you, Luna."   Remus started to set out the tea service as Snape sat down at the table across from the baby's high chair.  "You're sure you want to stay tonight?" 

She looked from Snape to Remus and back.  Snape gave her a single, sharp nod.  "We'll be fine.  Won't we, Teddy?"  Luna calmly spooned up more apple when Teddy's latest mouthful ended up down his bib.  "Can I do anything to help, later?" 

Remus caught the kettle just as it began to whistle and poured the water into the teapot, then carried the pot to the table and took his place.  "Just keep Teddy occupied if he's awake, and sleep if you can.  Severus will know if I can be allowed to see him, but don't get too close, even with the Wolfsbane." 

Luna nodded, watching the two of them as they shared the tea.  It was a finely choreographed dance between them, and she wondered how long they had been sharing such moments.  Months, at least, perhaps ever since they had been released from St. Mungo's. 

"Will you stay all night, sir?"  she asked Snape. 

Remus's lips twitched as if he were trying not to smile when he heard her default mode of address.  With no title to fall back on, and certainly no invitation to use his given name, Luna had offered the only possible option.     

"Yes, Miss Lovegood.  If you need me, do use my name.  I will not be offended." 

Ha!  Luna doubted that, but she knew he would come if she called.  Hopefully it would never become an issue.  Perhaps, one day in the future, once Luna had finished her education and could be considered an adult, she would ask Snape to call her by her name and see what happened.  Not yet, though.  Not when she still saw the Headmaster in him. 

Teddy blew a bubble of spit and threw a handful of apple mush into Luna's hair.  "Young Master Lupin, does that mean you're done?" she asked rhetorically as she set the spoon aside and pulled her wand.  Remus was laughing sympathetically and even Snape's impassive face had cracked into a small smile.  "Now then," Luna continued as Teddy blew more bubbles and dribbled down his chin, "maybe if you're very good and very quiet we'll have some teething biccies before bedtime." 

Luna managed to swallow a few gulps of tea and even eat a cucumber sandwich before Teddy's wiggling to get out of his chair had changed into attempts to metamorph himself thin enough to slide down.  She retrieved him with a gentle scold before Remus could leave his chair, although when Snape cast a few well-aimed Scourgifies she did not object. 

"Are you sure you'll be fine with him?"  Remus asked as he sat back again. 

Luna set Teddy on her hip and polished off her cup of tea standing next to the table.  "Yes, we'll be just fine.  Pretend we're not here, and do whatever you usually do on a full moon night."  When she saw the look Remus threw at Snape when she said that, Luna flushed again and wondered if she shouldn't have spoken.  She tucked her wand back behind her ear, gave Teddy his blue dummy, and started back into the sitting room. 

In the doorway, she turned.  "Will we hear any of it, down here?  To know when it starts?" 

Snape poured himself another cup of tea as he answered.  "I will warn you before it begins," and she wondered at the way he poured such emotion into such a tiny pronoun, "so that you can ward yourself and Teddy from the sound as you think best." 

She nodded, looking at Remus, who looked uncomfortable.  "Thank you for letting me help.  We'll be downstairs." 

Watching Teddy was easy enough, once he was fed and drowsy.  His toys kept him entertained, and as long as she was ready with hands or wand to untangle or distract him when he metamorphed himself a bit too far, they had no problems.  Even his teething was soothed by the charmed ring he chewed.  Luna had brought her homework with her, and charmed her parchments so that baby hands couldn't accidentally rip them, or baby drool smear her ink.  They got on well together until bedtime, when Luna had to concentrate all of her energy on lullabies.  She even transfigured an arm chair into a rocking chair to aid the process. 

She slept herself, once Teddy settled in the crib that had been a footstool, knowing that he would wake in the wee hours.  It was just before midnight when she felt a touch on her shoulder and came instantly awake, her wand in her hand.  Snape looked down at her, something close to approval on his face, and she whispered, glancing at the crib, "Sir?" 

"It's time," Snape said simply, glancing toward the stairs.  "I am placing the staircase ward now." 

Luna nodded and sat up.  "Thank you."  She cast a simple silencing charm around the crib and sat down to watch Teddy for as long as it lasted.  It was too dangerous for the baby to leave such a charm up indefinitely. 

Snape pulled himself up the stairs again, leaving the threshold glowing behind him for a few minutes.  Luna sat awake, hugging her knees to her chest, and listened. 

The howling was terrible, as she had been told.  But she felt no fear.  Rather, the emotion that gripped her was sorrow, and she found herself weeping over her knees to the accompaniment of pained, animal cries from above. It was rather cathartic after the many shocks of the day. Teddy slept peacefully through it all, and only stirred once the house had gone silent again, save the barely-audible murmuring of Snape's deep voice that occasionally wafted down the stair. 

Once the howling stopped, Luna lifted the silencing charm and picked Teddy up, cradling him in her arms as his whimpering quieted to sleep once more. Soon he would wake in earnest, hungry and wet, and provide a howling all his own.  She combed her fingers through his hair and smiled at the thought, closing her eyes and rocking slowly by the hearth. 

One two A.M. feeding and nappy change later, Luna felt another touch to her arm as she dozed with Teddy sprawled across her chest. 

Snape stood next to the rocking chair in shirtsleeves.  "I believe it is safe to take the boy upstairs," he said quietly.  "You may come up as well, if you wish." 

Luna eased Teddy's dummy into his mouth where it had fallen dangling from its tether, and shifted him so that Snape could lift the boy into his arms.  "Is Remus . . . er."  She didn't quite know how to finish that question. 

Snape lifted an eyebrow at her sudden speechlessness, cradling Teddy with ease.  "He is drowsy, but aware, and will know you as a friend, if not pack.  Stay at least an arm's length from the wolf at all times, and make no sudden moves.  He appreciates company, but we will not risk touch with the child about." 

Luna nodded and stood up, silently casting a freshening charm on her clothes and retrieving a clean blanket to lay over Snape's shoulder.  He seemed surprised when she laid it in place herself instead of letting him shift the child to free a hand.  She patted it into place, trying not to think of it as patting Snape's shoulder, and smiled hopefully. 

While he did not return her smile, the look he gave her was mild, and even gentle. 

Upstairs, Remus-the-wolf was curled on the knotted rug at the foot of the master bed, panting.  He was not quite like a true wolf.  His muzzle was shorter, more like a badly transfigured man than an actual animal, while his shoulders were massive and thick with graying red fur.  His front legs were longer than a wolf's, and all four paws were larger and longer than wolf's paws, the front ones elongated as if a man's fingers had been fused by broad pads, his fingernails become curved and sharp claws.  On the rug, drowsy and sluggish, he was intimidating.  Luna did not want to imagine him standing on all fours, or rearing to slash at her with those terrible claws.  Wolfsbane drugged and poisoned the monster, but did not tame it.  Looking the monster in the face, even knowing Remus was within, Luna doubted that it could ever truly be tamed.

She had not realized that she had stopped short, staring, until Snape turned back to touch her arm and lead her to one of the two chairs by the fire.  Remus's golden eyes watched them, but he did not move.  Snape turned Teddy so that the baby's sleeping face was visible to the wolf, and set a bottle to warming. Luna smoothed her hands down the front of her trousers, shifting her feet, and finally settled into something resembling a comfortable posture in the chair.  She used old meditation tricks learned from her St. Mungo's months to settle her stomach and slow her breathing.

Snape's look that time was definitely approval, and that somehow helped her technique.  She found herself calm and mostly collected sooner than she had expected. 

"Do you stay with him every full moon?" she asked, in the companionable quiet that had sprung up between herself and the man.  No sooner had the words left her mouth than she regretted their impertinence, and she was taking a breath to apologize when he astonished her by answering.

"I do."  Snape's long fingers combed through Teddy's hair just as hers had done earlier.  The baby dreamed, and his hair was now the same golden brown as his father's.  "Since September, once he came home from hospital." 

Luna watched Snape as Snape watched Remus, and she was sure that the wolf watched them both.  Snape was different now than Luna had ever seen him before.  Not that she had so many opportunities to see him.  She had seen him only twice since the Battle of Hogwarts, once when she had visited St. Mungo's with Neville and Harry in July, and once at the Yule Ball just two weeks ago at Hogwarts, when Snape had received the Order of Merlin, Second Class during the Awards Ceremony.  Luna herself had received one in Third Class.  Kingsley had been handing out the medals like candy that day, although only Harry's had been First Class.  Every surviving member of the Order of the Phoenix and the DA had received one, and a good dozen had been awarded posthumously.  Even Sirius Black had been named for Third Class, his name finally cleared after all these years. 

At the Awards Ceremony, Snape had been stone-faced, painfully formal, and while he had accepted his award on his own power, for the rest of the evening he had walked leaning heavily on a wooden cane.  It must have pained him to be seen so, and yet for Luna it had underscored the difference between Snape the Man, the Spy, the Hero of the War, and Snape the Headmaster or Snape the Potions Professor.  She wondered if one day he would be able to reconcile his many roles.

It didn't seem to matter here in this small bedroom, as Snape stared at a drugged werewolf with such a vast and overwhelming pain in his eyes, yet held the werewolf's son in gentle hands.  Teddy had lost his dummy again, and nuzzled sleepily at Snape's hand. 

The wolf lifted his head from his paws as Teddy made tiny, hungry noises.  Snape gentled the child and summoned the bottle, eyes never leaving the wolf.  Teddy seemed quite at home, and his hair turned blue then pink then white-blond as he fed. 

"Miss Lovegood." 

Luna started.  Had she dozed, or just been caught staring?  "Yes, sir." 

"I believe you should take the boy downstairs now."  Snape looked meaningfully at the clock on the mantel, then at the wolf, who was starting to move restlessly.  "I will ward the door behind you.  Try to get some more sleep.  I'll wake you when it's time to return to St. Mungo's." 

She snapped fully awake at that, and took Teddy quickly from the potions master, leaving the blanket and bottle on the table.  "Yes, sir.  Thank you. Good night, sir." 

Luna walked slowly and deliberately out of the room, only breaking into something closer to a run when she had reached the hallway.  She stopped off in the loo, took the opportunity to change Teddy while she was there, then settled down with him on the transfigured sofa.  It was almost sunrise, but according to Remus he and Snape would sleep until midmorning at least.  If Teddy was quiet, she could get several hours herself before returning to the waiting room at St. Mungo's to hope that her father had been cleared for visitors at last.